Why do some people prefer being alone than being with others?

Why do some people prefer being alone than being with others?

Sometimes in life we have opinions and personal attachments that we feel so passionately about that we will defend it until its/our end. A lot of times, these are the very things we can’t explain – they exist in our souls, but not necessarily our society. Perhaps we are so sure they are of such colossal value that we do not need to justify their importance. Take for example pulling a trapped person out of a car crash – your intentions were good, but you can easily harm the person more by moving them. There have been countless lawsuits* and other negative affects from these sort of incidents. Essentially, we can have the most pure, best intentions, and still get sued, face defamation, or suffer other negative outcomes. These are where the holes in society are, and this is where solitude exists.

“Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone – we find it with another.”
– Thomas Merton (American and Trappist Monk)

This quote by Thomas Merton perfectly reflects the opinions of society. Perhaps it’s ignorance, discomfort, bias, or naivety, but society disvalues solitude. Why? Society, and a similar word - social. Through our years we have come to value social interactions to the point where they are among the most important parts of our lives. Most often people do not see complete opposites in the same light – meaning that the people who’ve come to value social interactions so much tend not to value solitude. This is all fine, in no way am I criticizing people who tend to be more extroverted, but I identify with those who tend to be more introverted and/or value solitude. As I described earlier, being alone is one of those ‘personal attachments’ that I value so highly but have a difficult time explaining. Nevertheless, I will give a humble attempt at it.

“He alone is great and happy who requires neither to command nor to obey in order to secure his being of some importance in this world”
– Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (Playwright, Poet, Novelist and Dramatist)

There are quite a few characteristics of being alone that are quite appealing so it’s impossible to label one more important than the other. One characteristic of being alone that is quite appealing is perfectly stated by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe in the above quote. When you are alone you lose your external conscious – your awareness of what others think of you and in turn how you act. In society you either lead or follow, but in solitude you do neither – which is part of the beauty and the cause of peace.

“The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready, and it may be a long time before they get off.”
– Henry David Thoreau

We all have times when we are just completely fed up with other people or life, and this is a time when a lot of people like to take a step back and just relax. This is another reason why people enjoy being alone.

“I lived in solitude in the country and noticed how the monotony of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind”
– Albert Einstein

As Albert Einstein states, another reason why people seek solitude is that the combination of “alone time” and lack of social conscious sparks the creative mind.
Clearly there are a lot of reasons why some people enjoy being alone rather than being with others. Sure some people find it uncomfortable and/or “weird”, but it all depends on your viewpoint:

“The whole value of solitude depends upon one's self; it may be a sanctuary or a prison, a haven of repose or a place of punishment, a heaven or a hell, as we ourselves make it”
– John Lubbock (English Biologist and Politician)

Perhaps we are all inevitably alone:

“We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.”
– Orson Welles (American motion-picture actor, director, producer, and writer)

No matter what your opinion, there is no denying that solitude can be a very important and healthy physical and mental state for a person. That is why people take time to be alone – it’s healthy, important, and impacts your life. Being alone is a breath of fresh air in this pressure-filled, hectic, and dangerous world.

* The Good Samartian Law was established to prevent these kind of lawsuits, but they still occur.